I fear not being given the chance to communicate, understand, and be understood.
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I want to be able to dance with all of my friends, and gendered language and expectations mean that I can’t dance with half of the dancers in the room, which sucks. People should be able to dance with everyone.
Growing up in our Contra, Square, and English dance communities, I’ve always danced both roles, because why not? Children aren’t born with binary gender beliefs — those limits are taught and imposed. As a cisgender little girl dancing in the…
One of the deepest regrets in my life is that I have not had children. It was my dream to be a mother, and every Mother’s Day I feel excluded, less than whole, marginalized, and shunned. But should I expect…
I love being able to dance either role. It has opened up a whole new world to me. I used to be bored, but now I know that I can give myself a pleasant challenge at any time by switching…
I have been dancing in the contra community for 40 years. Each and every time I dance on the female-expected side (as a woman, lady, robin) of the set (how many iterations? thousands?) my body is touched in places that…
I choose my dance partners based on things like “this person is new and would benefit from an experienced partner” or “this person is my friend and I’d like to spend time with them.” I don’t choose my partners based…
A celebration of gender diversity and dancing with everyone: Variety is the spice of life! I would much rather dance with all kinds of people presenting in different ways than get bored with a full line of men or a…
I recently asked a younger dancer, in his teens, what role he preferred dancing. His response was that he likes being a robin best because he loves spinning, but it depends when in the evening it is. He said he…
I have all but abandoned contra dancing regularly because of deep frustration about the gendered role expectations I was feeling from partners and neighbors at dances. These perceived expectations bothered me on their own but it made me even more…
At my local dance, some callers have begun using positional calling and some still use the role terms men and women. There is also often talk of attracting more young dancers. One evening there was a young dancer and the…