Dance has been such a joy and contributor to my mental health. I wish dances were just about dancing and not about semantics. As a non-binary person with two X chromosomes, I want to dance and turn off my gender stress. I have struggled with my relationship to my body. And if I feel respected by my community, I don’t care what terms are used for dance instruction. I have been able to dance whichever role I want with whomever I want in any way I want. I can ask for consent. I can make requests and set boundaries. What term a role has does not hurt my sense of value.
The intensity and animosity I perceive and hear about in the community does affect my insecurities and motivation. I know that I continue to struggle with emotion regulation and people-pleasing tendencies, which affect my desire to pursue calling. I still intend to pursue the joy of teaching and calling, but there is the part in me that wants to avoid the conflict altogether– lest I get hurt or inadvertently hurt someone. I fear not being given the chance to communicate, understand, and be understood.
[Brenda Castro]