I started dancing in a community that uses gender-neutral or positional calling. I’ve heard of some quippy one-liners that have been lost to this kind of calling, and some of them are pretty funny, but I don’t really have any…
I’ve been dancing both roles for almost as long as I’ve been contra dancing. There were often more women than men, so if I wanted to dance, I would ask another woman to dance with me. I loved getting to…
Many years ago the mother of a friend of ours suggested to her daughter that she go with us to a dance. The daughter responded “Aw mom, it’s so hetero.” It seemed funny to us then (and still does), but…
Only a few years ago I thought, gendered role terms, what the big deal? It is just like putting on a costume for a play or a silly hat for a tea party! It has nothing to do with who…
I have friends who will never come back to contra because they (a queer couple, both non-binary, both usually read as female) were pressured apart and both pressured into dancing with much older men who got closer than they were…
I remember the distress of female friends who missed-out on attending balls, weekends, or weeks at Pinewoods, because gender-balancing policies (requiring a 1:1 balance of men and women) locked them out. In those days, there was often extra space at…
Our dance group uses the terms “Men” and “Women.” As a long-time dancer, I thought that adjusting to different terms would be pretty easy when I traveled to a special event. Instead, it was a real struggle! Even in simple…
I happily dance with anyone, on either side, but I also enjoy the sense that we assume roles, and behave like ladies and gentlemen when we dance historic dances. Addressing me as a lark or robin makes me very uncomfortable,…
A talented out of town caller hoping to complete a square with eight dancers saw me raise a hand, offering to partake if another person was interested in joining me. The caller, through the microphone, announced ‘There’s a woman ready…
When I started dancing in college, posted Ball programs had one dance in each half lettered in red. Those red labels indicated ‘Ladies’ Choice.’ For all other dances, ‘ladies’ were expected to wait patiently for a ‘gentleman’ to ask them…
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