I have all but abandoned contra dancing regularly because of deep frustration about the gendered role expectations I was feeling from partners and neighbors at dances. These perceived expectations bothered me on their own but it made me even more…
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At my local dance, some callers have begun using positional calling and some still use the role terms men and women. There is also often talk of attracting more young dancers. One evening there was a young dancer and the…
When I first started contra dancing a few months ago, I happened to be at the same time in the process of questioning my gender. During the pandemic I spent a lot of time alone (as did we all) and…
I am a non-binary dancer who dances both roles. Especially since the pandemic started, I have mainly been attending dances that use gender-free calling (whether positional or larks/robins). Recently, I traveled to attend an ECD event where they called dances…
I am a woman in my mid-twenties who found contra dancing this year and quickly fell in love. Language played a part in that. After our first dance, a friend and I talked about how cool it was that the…
I started dancing in a community that uses gender-neutral or positional calling. I’ve heard of some quippy one-liners that have been lost to this kind of calling, and some of them are pretty funny, but I don’t really have any…
Only a few years ago I thought, gendered role terms, what the big deal? It is just like putting on a costume for a play or a silly hat for a tea party! It has nothing to do with who…
I have friends who will never come back to contra because they (a queer couple, both non-binary, both usually read as female) were pressured apart and both pressured into dancing with much older men who got closer than they were…
Our dance group uses the terms “Men” and “Women.” As a long-time dancer, I thought that adjusting to different terms would be pretty easy when I traveled to a special event. Instead, it was a real struggle! Even in simple…
I happily dance with anyone, on either side, but I also enjoy the sense that we assume roles, and behave like ladies and gentlemen when we dance historic dances. Addressing me as a lark or robin makes me very uncomfortable,…